QUIZ AND TRIVIA PAGE
Two blondes with hammers, Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" Carol explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end, and I throw them away."Donna got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house." A blonde was driving home after a game, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Q. What's the difference between Skippy and Wayne Carey? The policeman says: "Wayne Carey is so depressed about being "Oh, really?" the man says. "How much have you collected so "So far only 18 litres, but a lot of people are still Q: You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and Wayne Carey. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? Wayne Carey wakes up one morning, showers and puts on his best tracksuit, ready for another hard day's work of being an over-privileged little shit. Catching sight of himself in the mirror, he thinks "By God, Wayne, you're looking good today." He admires the fine cut of hisshell suit, the healthy sheen of his tan and flexes his biceps. "Feeling good too," he notes proudly at the firm swell of muscle underneath the North Kangaroos jersey he's wearing.
He goes down to the kitchen where his girlfriend hands him a bowl of cornflakes. "You're looking fit this morning, Wayne." "Too right" he says. "I feel good as well." "But you don't smell so good," comments his beloved. He takes a sniff. "You're right there," he says worriedly, "I do smell a bit rough." He finishes his breakfast, jumps into his car and drives off to Arden Street to practice kicking fancy looking goals.
He meets Corey McKernan at the gates. "Alright Wayne, you're looking good today," says the tall one. "Of course I am," says Carey. "But you wiff a bit," says the overated ugly bastard. "Funny that, I don't know what it is but my chick said the same thing." "Good morning to you," he grins at Denis Pagan. "Its a fine day, Wayne" says Dennis. "And you're looking really good." "Hey thanks, boss. I look good and I feel good as well" replies the overpaid wally. "Oh Wayne!" winces the Denis. "You smell awful. Skip training and go to the quacks."
Worried, the (Wayne) King visits his doctor. "Doctor, I've got a problem. I look good, I feel great but I smell awful." The doctor gets out his medical dictionary. "Lets see...looks good...feels great...smells awful. Hmm, yes. Its quite simple, Mr. Carey," says the doctor "You're a ???? ."
A man sees a guy with his car a total wreck. It’s covered in grass, dirt, branches, leaves and blood. "What happened?" he asked the owner. "I ran over Wayne Carey," he said. "That explains the blood. What about the rest?"
"He tried to escape through Fitzroy Gardens." TWO TEXANS
Q: What's the difference between Wayne Carey and God?
A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?"
"No, Silly," the blonde said, "first I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants. I'm not shooting myself in the chest."
"So then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, "I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened. I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."
"So then?" asked the doctor.
Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: "This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger."
So the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees, and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her blonde roommate saw her, and asked, "What are you doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello!
You need to roll up the windows first."
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They had gone to see 'Closed for the winter'.
Her boss asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, "Why don't you go home for the day ? Take the day off to relax and rest.."
"Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it, and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual.
A couple of hours pass, and the boss decides to check on the blonde.
He looks out from his office, and sees the blonde crying hysterically. "What's so bad now? Are you going to be okay?" he asks.
"No," exclaims the blonde, "I just received a horrible call from my sister..Her mother died, too!"
A: Skippy can root who he likes and still be a kangaroo!
Q: What's the difference between Wayne Carey and the Titanic?
A: Only 1600 people went down on the Titanic.
A new poll asked 1,000 women if they would have sex with Wayne
Carey.
70% said, "Never again."
Q: Why does Wayne Carey wear boxer shorts?
A: To keep his ankles warm
Q: What is the first thing Wayne Carey does when he gets out of
bed?
A: He goes home.
A man, on his way home from work was stuck in traffic which was
much worse than usual. Noticing a policeman walking among the stalled cars,
he asked, "Officer, what's the holdup?"
caught cheating that he's stopped his car and is threatening to douse
himself in petrol and set himself on fire. He says his family hates him, fans hate him, his team mates hate him and he now won't have the $1
million from his footy contract. I'm walking around taking up a collection for him."
far?"
siphoning."
A: God doesnt think he's Wayne Carey.
A: Shoot the Wayne Carey. Twice.
Two men from Texas were sitting at a bar, when a young lady nearby began to choke on a hamburger. She gasped and gagged, and one Texan turned to the other and said, "That little gal is havin' a bad time. I'm a gonna go over there and help."
He ran over to the young lady, held both sides of her head in his big, Texan hands, and asked, "Kin ya swaller?" Gasping, she shook her head no.
He asked, "Kin ya breathe?" Still gasping, she again shook her head no. With that, he yanked up her skirt, pulled down her panties and licked her on the butt. The young woman was so shocked that she coughed up the piece of hamburger and began to breathe on her own.
The Texan sat back down with his friend and said, "Ya know, it's sure amazin' how that hind-lick manoeuvre always works."
Blond and the patrolman
A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lungs. "No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"
Which one is the cutest
there is a blonde, a brunette and a red head in a grade three class room...
Which one is the cutest?
......the blonde because shes eighteen
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I Want to Buy That
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
Blonde Car Accident
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"